How to Get What You Want from the Doctor

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Behind the Scenes: We’re Not Gods, We’re Overworked Humans with Godlike Powers.

We are very often quick to judge our physician.  We have ideas about our problems and we’re not getting satisfactory drugs and explanations.  Just like you should with everyone – walk a while in their shoes.  They want you to feel better.  They want to be the ones to make you feel better and they are stressed  just like the rest of us.

Keep in mind that he has become a doctor because he wants to heal you.  That is his oath and his mission.  It makes him a success.  If he cannot heal you, he is worthless.  You might switch to another doctor.  You may ignore his advice.  You may not take the pills he has prescribed.  Any number of things can break this fragile relationship.

Doctors had schooling to be able to diagnose problems quickly and efficiently.  Being right is pretty good but being right very quickly is the dream ending.  The literature that you hear about and read all points to the fact that doctors make a diagnosis within 30 seconds of meeting you.  Do we like that?  It doesn’t matter, the doctors are over booked and under appreciated.

What happens with doctors during their training is that they get thrown into situations where people are hurt and dying all over the place..  It’s overwhelming.  The doctor has learned his hard sciences and to diagnose well, and has good cognitive skills, but his empathy has atrophied in the face of the pressure he feels.  Schooling the doctor includes desensitizing them so that they can perform in unbearable painful situations.  They want to “toughen them up.”  Well, that seems obvious.

Another lose, lose situation is that doctors do become totally desensitized to patients’ problems.  They have no training or therapy to teach them good bedside manners.  Right now they do not know how to undo their facade.  The conflict is that a doctor with no sympathy loses his patients and a doctor who made it through with his heart still beating easily burnS out and can loseS his/her jobs.

The frustration that doctors feel is that want to solve our problems quickly but that might make them make an error or misdiagnosis.  They know you can challenge them but they have terrible social skills and usually the interaction is negative.  They are being asked to attend to too many patients, dealing with the questions, dealing with no time and the newly proactive patients want to hear the whole story.  Then he has the insurance companies to deal with.  It’s not a pretty sight.

Not long ago, doctors were held in high regard.  We did as we were told and defended our doctor’s opinion over everybody’s.  That saga is no longer.  They don’t have the respect and riches that they used to have.  They have exorbitant insurance costs.  They are frustrated and afraid that each patient will present an overwhelming situation.   This is all meant to ask you to take his position for a moment and feel his anxiety and disappointment and try to reach a bearable conclusion.

Related posts:

1. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – Getting Prepped
2. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – Good Patient, Bad Patient
3. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – Getting Prepped
4. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – No-No’s
5. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – Patient, Know Thyself
6. How to Get What You Want from the Doctor – Stoicism is for Wimps
7. Women’s Health: Your Doctor’s Examination – Part 4
8. Regular Chekups for Moms – Part 2
9. Depleted Mothers – Vulnerable Spots in Your Armor of Resilience
10. Women’s Health Screening – Part 1