Sharing is one of the most difficult social skills things to develop when raising a child. It is really difficult to find the right spot between being aware of just oneself and being aware of everyone but oneself. We want to communicate to the child that the feelings of others are important but in that process we don’t want him to forget about his own. This is where it gets tricky.

For most parents sharing is a very important social skill, so much that in the process of teaching the preschooler to share, we often forget that sharing is really difficult even for adults.  Children, the same as we, develop a strong sense of property with their things. First of all, they do not understand why he has to do it. Remember that the toddler has just become aware of others as rivals for some of them want what he wants. As a preschooler those feelings have not disappeared and the idea of the other as the rival, or the opponent has just become more present when he has to give, or lend, or something that is still a very confusing concept for him, a valuable possession to someone else, to the other. The preschooler doesn’t see any advantage in doing so and that’s why he doesn’t want to do it. Not only that, those who seemed to be his allies all along, now try to encourage, almost force him, to what seems to him as giving something for nothing. Also, he doesn’t know how long he has to share that toy or candy or whatever. The notion of time is still weak on the preschooler, and minutes, hours and days is not something he fully understands. It’s even worst when the other kid actually does not want to share back or to give the toy back or neither one of them, and if the toy is damaged in any way in the process the child might start thinking that all this sharing concept is not worthwhile.

Ok, then what to do? First, show your child that the feelings of others are important but at the same time show him, and on this be very clear, that his feelings are important too. Show him that even if he has to share, you understand that there might be some things that he truly doesn’t want to share and it is his right not to do so, but remind him, that those “things” cannot be all things.

Create situations where it is safe to share, where you know his toy is not going to be damaged, where he is really going to get it back and is not for long. Even though sharing is an individual skill, it only works both ways so make sure everyone understands what this is about. Play games where cooperation and sharing are vital and use words that reinforce the concept in their minds, the act to give and take. As always, try to make it fun for everyone. And don’t forget to praise him when he actually shares, this is very important because it would help the child remembering what is expected from him and would make him feel like a part of something.

Keep in mind that children learn through imitation as well, so all the setting, the play, the praise will not be very effective if they see that you don’t share or if they hear you saying behind doors the opposite of what you preaches openly.

Sharing is really difficult for everyone, and is even harder for the preschooler, but you can make it easier if you show that everyone is important, including him, and if you reinforce the behavior you want through play, practice, praise and, most of all, lead by example.

You may also find interesting:

  1. How to boost a confidence of your preschooler?
  2. The Importance of Play in the Learning Process of Toddlers
  3. How to discipline your child at the age of pre-schooling?
  4. When And How Should You Read To Your Child
  5. Cliques in Preschool, The Sad Reality

Filed under: Socializing

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